I started at Heal’s. No pie funnels. Next door at Habitat, no pie funnels. Pier Import: pie funnels? Unheard of. At Purves & Purves, with the largest kitchen department yet, an assistant asked obtusely: “Why would anyone want to put a pie through a funnel? Or do you mean you want a funnel shaped like a pie?” At Jerry’s Home Store they could offer me a metal wire device for sewing up a turkey’s anal orifice, or a margarita set, but pie funnels? Of course not.

The idea of the pie funnel is that it should both support the pastry lid during cookery and ventilate the pie, so that the filling does not boil over in the oven. The basic model looks like a piece of moulded ceramic that might be useful for applying an enema. It takes its place in the centre of the pie dish, with its chimney-like vent pushing up through the pastry, which is moulded around it leaving a tube or pipe protruding above the pie’s crust. Arches in the bottom, or holes in the chimney stem, let the steam escape. 

Most surprising of all, though, was the discovery from the internet that pie funnels, also known as “pie vents” or (because of the bird designs) “pie birds”, are fêted as collectables in America, and that the principal source of supply is — you perhaps guessed — Britain.

Britain is, the American sites tell us, the home of the pie funnel. British celebrities such as Diana, Princess of Wales and Baroness Thatcher of Kesteven have, the sites assure, us “owned or collected pie birds”, maintaining a tradition which “started in the English countryside”.

The prima donna of the pie funnel is Donnas Hermena Peterson of Grimsby, trading as Donnaware. Her funnels are “sculptural clay creations”, and she has been making them since she launched “Geoff the Chef” in 1990. Geoff is a moustachioed little pie maker who gives off steam through a hole in his chef’s hat.

Ms Peterson has added another 40 bright and cheery populist designs since Geoff’s debut. Mamma figures (white and black) were followed by Mr Plod the Policeman, and now she makes pie funnels in the shapes of assorted birds and animals, with Santa designs for Christmas, and bride-and-groom funnels for wedding parties. She also welcomes commissions. She charges £25 for each piece, and £3.95 p&p, though she recollects: “When my granny was alive, bless her, I remember she used an old cup, which grew cracked and brown over the years.”

Donnas Hermena Peterson’s Donnaware (01472 591817, www.piebirds.co.uk)

Courtesy of the  THE TIMES Newspaper